Killer Instincts

Warning: There is no yarn content whatsoever in this post. But it is pretty entertaining.

This morning, as has been my normal routine the last few weeks, I woke up at about 9:15, brushed my teeth, and left the bedroom in my pajamas to take care of the animals. So I had only been out of bed for about 10 minutes when the following disturbing scene took place.

As soon as I opened the bedroom door, Bettie darted in and under the bed, with Riley barking at her heels. I scolded him and shuffled him into the living room and toward the back door. In typical Riley fashion, he hesitated in the doorway (I'm guessing, he's unsure that the 20 year old wood will support his weight.. but who knows). With the door wide open, I try and goad him outside, when all of a sudden the cat - an indoor-only cat for the month or so we've had her now - flies past me, past Riley, and out onto the deck.

At this point, she's unsure what to do next. She's apparently shocked to have made it outside, when all her previous attempts at escape have been blocked. So she just stands there a moment, getting her bearings, and I start to call to her in an attempt to keep her from moving long enough that I can snag her. And then, a lizard I had not yet spotted decides it's going to make a run from under the patio table toward the trees.

Bettie saw the lizard at the same time I did, and what happened next looked like something you might see on the Discovery Channel. There was a leap into the air, a somersault, and the next thing I knew, the rear half of the lizard was dangling from Bettie's mouth. The tail was flailing about, but I couldn't tell whether the thing was actually alive and struggling or if it was the involuntary last movements of a severed spinal cord. Again she froze, perhaps impressed by her own hunting prowess, perhaps trying to determine whether Riley or I was a threat to her kill. It was long enough that I was able to grab her by the scruff of the neck. I attempted to shake her a bit, then picked her up, but the prey was not about to be released. And I was definitely not going to grab it and pull, for the fear that I would end up with half a lizard in my hand. (Ew!)

So I couldn't make her drop the lizard, but I didn't want to let go of her and have her run off into the yard. So I quickly carried her into the house, hurried through the living room, thrust her and her giant mouthful into the guest bathroom and shut the door.

Half an hour later, I tentatively cracked the door on a strikingly clean bathroom and a cat eager to be released. There was no blood, but a little black blob of unidentified lizard innards... I coated the bathroom in Clorox.

Riley was so bewildered by the whole episode that he completely forgot he needed to pee in the first place. As for me, I'm pretty convinced that Bettie's former life was pretty exciting, and probably involved more than a couple of lizardy meals. Yum.


*On a completely different note, I am now employed! I start work - full time! - on Tuesday. Wish me luck!